This little bloggy of mine is for all those for whom viewing life in other ways is fascinating. If reading about a girl's takes and thoughts on everyday life captivates you, then yeah this is for you.
Some/most amounts of matter in this blog may seem like they were plucked from random spurts of brilliantly insane moments. Hence it is under your discretion that you read/actually follow what has been written in here. The author is not in any way responsible for delusional thinking or sudden bursts of insipid rubbish talk. You have been warned.
The tale of a girl...a girl who dared to dream, who had the pluck to shout out bitter truths in the very face of the mirthless world...now stands unmasked, unveiled before you, carefully preserved within this virtual time catcher. I can continue likewise till eternity so I'd better stop now.
- Make myself useful to the world...somehow.
- Experience a miracle.
- Finish off pending novels!
- People should leave me alone unless absolutely necessary.
- Expand vocabulary
- Make a damn blogskin for god's sake...
- Stop being a total tech-addict
- Discover or prove something amazing.
- Get studying and hope to conquer the exams which generally tend to chew my brains off.
- Watch all the heart-warming/comedy/worth watching/inspirational/chick flick/oscar winning movies in the world.
- Enjoy my life while I can.
- Be worldly wise. Well. No harm in dreaming high.
Image is made by YOURS TRULY with the help of Adobe Photoshop CS3 and some brushes. So don't you DARE steal it :D
Sunday, June 13, 2010
"To Kill That Time" @ 8:00:00 pm writes:
Yeah people, I'm back after more than a year of hiatus(which I regret deeply but hey, you've got to pay a price for the boards, don't you!). So for all you poor souls out there dying to catch a glimmer of an update on this blog, feast on this.
It's weird how we are so choc-a-bloc with stuff to do/'study' during our exams, and then when we actually GET some free time, we are at a complete loss as to what to do. So as a result of the two precariously empty and creativity-inspiring months stretching out in front of me, I have compiled a list(for all you 'I'm-so-bored' whiners) of stuff to do to kill time, other than the obvious work-play-eat routine.
Daydream - This is THE number one tonic to boredom. Trust me. Pick a comfortable spot to sit/lie down, like a cushioned windowsill, a cozy couch or just plain grass. Now, stare off into space. It shouldn't take a conscious effort because then your frame of mind will be unsettled. Now that your eyes are seeing without really seeing, random thoughts should automatically start flowing in. And before you know it, a whole half hour is vanished!
Read - Oh PLEASE. You never have the right to complain of boredom when you're too lazy to pick up a book and get reading. Come ON. It's THE best(and most useful) way to kill time(other than daydreaming, that is). Pick up ANY old book/newspaper/old letters and get reading!
Write - Now this may seem like a task for the patient ones but believe me, it's not. Else why on earth would I be here typing my life away? Writing sort of releases you. It gives you peace and a sense of fulfillment. It may not necessarily mean that you have to sit down and start writing a novel, or anything(though that wouldn't do harm)
Alright, so this is my first post this year, which basically cements my laziness. It's April, summer's in full bloom, Kerala is at its second prettiest (first is during Onam, in spring), school's out for the month, I'm jobless as usual, I've watched more movies this month than a ten year old kid would've watched in their lifetime.....yet why do I seem to find it so hard to navigate to this site?? Because I know that once I do come here, I'll be magnetically drawn to 'Create New Post' and a good two hours will be spent on this, when I could've sat and watched a whole movie meanwhile. Which I already do everyday.
So my eleventh is over. And once again, I prepare myself to step into the dark and turbid catacombs of The Boards...for the third time.
But unlike the previous two years of battling with the boards(2004 and 2008-09), I find myself facing an unexpected junction.
I find myself at crossroads; my equally strong inclinations for two contrasting futures me apart. This has never happened before; you're not asked to decide your career in your tenth, all you had to do was to 'study and leave the rest to others' then. But 12th is slightly more cruel this way.
Especially in Kerala where I find the PC entrance mania quite rampant enough to make me want to quit the classes. But I won't, of course. Because there's a part in me - a teeny weeny one - which madly hopes this at least will be of the minutest use to my future...and another which longs to break free of the Entrance Exams Saga and foray into the much more appetizing world of Humanities.
Then again, maybe I won't.
Okay. I sense my confusion seeping into this post and making it an overall bore to digest, so I stop rambling here. I plan to hunt for a new blogskin; this one's getting old.
That's right - I want to bury this year deep, deep down inside the nethermost canyons in the world - neglected coldly, to rot...hopefully along with all the harsh and bitter memories and experiences it so mercilessly shoved on me. And yes - after the most terrible year ever in my entire life - and I know that a more horrid year will never, ever come into my life; God isn't entirely ruthless - 2009 better be a somewhat more peaceful year. I know the years ahead will never be the same again for me - but still, I certainly do expect much more peace of mind next year than I got in 2008.
Switching over to the lighter side of me (yup, it's still intact - no worries there! :))...
Fireworks, crackers, balloons, cakes, countdowns blah blah blah... I'm surprised that very few of these before-mentioned New Year-package-deals are seen littered about the cityscape here - or rather, townscape. Well, it does seem like the unnerving Mumbai blasts have even left my town shaken - no surprises here; it shocked me beyond words, as well.
And well, what else made the news in 2008? Oh yeah. The infamous elections. Don't get me wrong - I don't know the ABC's of politics and neither do I have any interest in knowing so in the near future, either - but Obama's win represented symbolically something heart-warmingly pleasant - something we've seen in scores of movies and books, something we firmly root and cheer for - the rise of the underdog. Well, kind of. Blacks, till a decade or so back, had been treated rather unfairly in the US, if the knowledge I've gained from movies stand correct. However, I'm not talking about just the Blacks. Take racial discrimination - believe me, I've faced it big time, and it really hurts you from inside. And well, coming to local levels - the underdog is present everywhere - in school, in families, in monarchy, in slavery, in fairy tales, in - well - everywhere. And mostly, it is the underdog which rises in the long run. This natural hierarchy, I applaud.
Enough intellect (though amatuer, rather. But it's a first for me - discussing something general in depth) - this would be just right to stir fry my own brain if I were the reader.
Well. Here's wishing every single soul who has the fortune to breathe on this planet a most wonderful, peaceful, merry, beautiful, exciting, fulfulling -and yeah, did I mention wonderful?- 2009! Life may seem like it's letting you down all the time but there's always something new to look forward to - and a completely new year is the best re-beginning one can ask for. So kudos to the coming year and here's hoping it brings this planet 365 peaceful days.
Scream at me for so cruelly neglecting to feed this blog. But I'll still remain the same old lazybone!
Today is a great day. A pleasant drizzle coupled with a sprinkling of cold admist all the stuffiness of the monsoon season, the earthy(muddy) path leading to the temple, on which I tread today at the break of dawn(I FINALLY managed to wake up before ten o'clock!! Six, in fact.), the warm faces of my family and relatives wishing me and my dearest friends waking up early in the morning specially to phone me...
Seems the entire world is wishing me a happy birthday.
Okay, I am SO not shrieking out to everyone that it is my birthday today, but the truth is it really is my birthday today! *mischievous smirk*
After announcing this rather surreptiously, I depart. I know not the use of this post...which I will eventually trash. Its fate remains undecided. As of now, let it remain. Let the smouldering remains of my blog writhe in agony at my sheer modesty.
This seems like a fascinating topic for me to blog about. At least, I think so, after reading a few articles on paradoxes. I recently Stumbled on www.paradoxes.co.uk , which had excellent references to paradoxes, and I was completely intrigued by the whole concept. Those of you for whom the word seems alien, worry not:). I have compiled togather a complete article (written mostly by me; the problems have been copied shamelessly from the net; after all, I didn't create them!)
A Paradox, in my opinion is a wonderfully twisting, mind-bending problem which has no obvious answers, or that which contradicts itself leaving no possible answer.
Wikipedia defines a Paradox as - 'An apparently true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition; or it can be, seemingly opposite, an apparent contradiction that actually expresses a non-dual truth'
The Chambers Dictionary, 2006 defines it as-
'Something which is contrary to received conventional opinion; something which is apparently absurd but is or may be really true; a self-contradictory statement'
I hope you get the general idea- a paradox is an impossible situation. Still confused? Allow me to enlighten you with a basic (rather silly) example-
What would you do if you see this notice which said-
PLEASE IGNORE THIS NOTICE
Would you ignore it? If you ignore it, you would actually be noticing it. If you notice it, you would actually not be ignoring it.
That was example number one. Now let's move on to more complex stuff (am I starting to sound like a teacher?? If so, you have the absolute liberty to give me a good whack on my head).
Example number 2 goes like this- Consider this sentence-
This sentence is false.
This is popularly known as the Liar Paradox. Is that sentence true or false? If it is false then it is true, and if it is true then it is false...
Boggling? Trust me, it gets worse...
Consider this, also known as the famous 'Hilbert's Hotel Paradox', which is based on the concept of infinity...
Imagine a hotel with a finite number of rooms, and assume that all the rooms are occupied. A new guest arrives and asks for a room. "Sorry" - says the proprietor - "but all the rooms are occupied." Now let us imagine a hotel with an infinite number of rooms, and all the rooms are occupied. To this hotel, too, comes a new guest and asks for a room. "But of course!" - exclaims the proprietor, and he moves the person previously occupying room N1 into room N2, the person from room N2 into room N3, the person from room N3 into room N4, and so on... And the new customer receives room N1, which becomes free as a result of these transpositions.
Let us imagine now a hotel with an infinite number of rooms, all taken up, and an infinite number of new guests who come in, and ask for rooms.
"Certainly, gentlemen," says the proprietor, "just wait a minute." He moves the occupant of N1 into N2, the occupant of N2 into N4, the occupant of N3 into N6, and so on, and so on...
Now all odd numbered rooms become free and the infinity of new guests can easily be accommodated in them.
How is this a paradox?
The proprietor's "just wait a minute" seems optimistic; it would surely take him an infinite time to shift the guests around. This implies that the job will take an infinite amount of time, therefore the infinite number of guests will have to be kept waiting for infinity...
Here's a brilliant one I found(please, readers, have the patience to go through each and every word of the post....it'll pay off, be guaranteed about that!)-
The Unexpected Hanging
A man condemned to be hanged was sentenced on Saturday. "The hanging will take place at noon," said the judge to the prisoner, "on one of the seven days of next week. But you will not know which day it is until you are so informed on the morning of the day of the hanging."
The judge was known to be a man who always kept his word. The prisoner, accompanied by his lawyer, went back to his cell. As soon as the two men were alone, the lawyer broke into a grin. "Don't you see?" he exclaimed. "The judge's sentence cannot possibly be carried out."
"I don't see," said the prisoner.
"Let me explain They obviously can't hang you next Saturday. Saturday is the last day of the week. On Friday afternoon you would still be alive and you would know with absolute certainty that the hanging would be on Saturday. You would know this before you were told so on Saturday morning. That would violate the judge's decree."
"True," said the prisoner.
"Saturday, then is positively ruled out," continued the lawyer. "This leaves Friday as the last day they can hang you. But they can't hang you on Friday because by Thursday only two days would remain: Friday and Saturday. Since Saturday is not a possible day, the hanging would have to be on Friday. Your knowledge of that fact would violate the judge's decree again. So Friday is out. This leaves Thursday as the last possible day. But Thursday is out because if you're alive Wednesday afternoon, you'll know that Thursday is to be the day."
"I get it," said the prisoner, who was beginning to feel much better. "In exactly the same way I can rule out Wednesday, Tuesday and Monday. That leaves only tomorrow. But they can't hang me tomorrow because I know it today!"
He is convinced, by what appears to be unimpeachable logic, that he cannot be hanged without contradicting the conditions specified in his sentence. Then on Thursday morning, to his great surprise, the hangman arrives. Clearly he did not expect him. What is more surprising, the judge's decree is now seen to be perfectly correctly. The sentence can be carried out exactly as stated.
A similar, easier one-
On a Monday morning, a professor says to his class, "I will give you a surprise examination someday this week. It may be today, tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday at the latest. On the morning of the examination, when you come to class, you will not know that this is the day of the examination."
Well, a logic student reasoned as follows: "Obviously I can't get the exam on the last day, Friday, because if I haven't gotten the exam by the end of Thursday's class, then on Friday morning I'll know that this is the day, and the exam won't be a surprise. This rules out Friday, so I now know that Thursday is the last possible day. And, if I don't get the exam by the end of Wednesday, then I'll know on Thursday morning that this must be the day (because I have already ruled out Friday), hence it won't be a surprise. So Thursday is also ruled out."
The student then ruled out Wednesday by the same argument, then Tuesday, and finally Monday, the day on which the professor was speaking. He concluded: "Therefore I cannot get the exam at all; the professor cannot possibly fulfil his statement." Just then, the professor said: "Now I will give you your exam." The student was most surprised!
Alright, let's move on to Mathematics (do I hear groans??).
Interesting and Uninteresting Numbers
The question arises: Are there any uninteresting numbers? We can prove that there are none by the following simple steps. If there are dull numbers, then we can divide all numbers into two sets - interesting and dull. In the set of dull numbers there will be only one number that is the smallest. Since it is the smallest uninteresting number it becomes, ipso facto , an interesting number. We must therefore remove it from the dull set and place it in the other. But now there will be another smallest uninteresting number. Repeating this process will make any dull number interesting.
Now the following must be one that has reached you long before you even understood any advanced math. Anyway, have a look at it and its obvious solution....nostalgia....
a = b. (1)
Multiplying both sides by a,
a² = ab. (2)
Subtracting b² from both sides,
a² - b² = ab - b² . (3)
Factorizing both sides,
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b). (4)
Dividing both sides by (a - b),
a + b = b. (5)
If now we take a = b = 1, we conclude that 2 = 1. Or we can subtract b from both sides and conclude that a, which can be taken as any number, must be equal to zero. Or we can substitute b for a and conclude that any number is double itself. Our result can thus be interpreted in a number of ways, all equally ridiculous.
The paradox arises from a disguised breach of the arithmetical prohibition on division by zero, occurring at (5): since a = b, dividing both sides by (a - b) is dividing by zero, which renders the equation meaningless. As Northrop goes on to show, the same trick can be used to prove, e.g., that any two unequal numbers are equal, or that all positive whole numbers are equal.
Absurd? It sure is.
Now I move on to a much more exciting type of paradoxes- an Ontological Paradox. Before you start freaking out seeing the zsize of the word, chill. It's fascinating and reading this sets the dullest person's brains into clockwork.
So what the hell is the onto-something paradox???
Wikipedia(yes I know, I'm shamelessly copying....but I have no choice...at least I credit dear old Wiki!)-
An ontological paradox is a paradox of time travel that questions the existence and creation of information and objects that travel in time.
In simpler words, it challenges the logic behind the seemingly impossible concept of time-travel.
Let's look at the most famous example for this type of a paradox (again...kill me if I'm being teacher-ish, 'coz I totally know how that feels...).
It's called the Grandfather Paradox.
Suppose a man traveled back in time and killed his biological grandfather before the latter met the traveller's grandmother. As a result, one of the traveller's parents (and by extension, the traveller himself) would never have been conceived. This would imply that he could not have travelled back in time after all, which in turn implies the grandfather would still be alive, and the traveller would have been conceived, allowing him to travel back in time and kill his grandfather. Thus each possibility seems to imply its own negation, a type of logical paradox.
Though who would ever do such a ridiculously stupid, not to mention cruel act, God knows.
The grandfather paradox has been used to argue that backwards time travel must be impossible. However, a number of possible ways of avoiding the paradox have been proposed, such as the idea that the timeline is fixed and unchangeable, or the idea that the time traveler will end up in a parallel timeline, while the timeline in which the traveler was born remains independent.
The concept of a parallel universe is what excites me tremendously, but I won't bore you further by delving into whatever I know about that(at the moment, very limited).
However, I encourage everyone(of my age....don't want Ph.D graduates to laugh themselves silly about how puerile this post is) to read it up....MUCH more interesting than the Physics chapters I'm currently enduring in school(in my opinion the Ontological part comes under Physics).
Anyway, here is music for your eyes(if there ever is such a thing)...in the form of more paradoxes, represented pictorially. Also called Optical Illusions...
An alarmingly unnatural dread surrounds me as I type this post out. It claws and chews at my insides, creeps all the way from my head through my spine and spreads to my whole body, practically numbing my senses. It screams to me silently, but I am helpless. Helplessly trapped inside my own body.
No, this isnot an excerpt from some silly horror novel. It's more or less a slightly exaggerated version of how I'm feeling now. I'm not being hunted down, nor being stalked. I'm not even guilty of killing a flea. Not that I know of, anyway. That dread reminds me. Reminds me that in less than twenty four hours, I will be reading out the results of my board exams through the net. Either with a smile or a frown....
I should stop thinking about this now. I guess I'd better go do something more cheerful....like reading some jokes.
Hello old readers, I'm back. Shifting chaos have somewhat subsided and I am eligible to bask in peace once again. Where am I found nowadays? In the comfort and solitude of my room, either getting my creative juices out by doing some craft or curling up with some book or the other borrowed from the local library. It's bliss.
Or so, till my brother comes barging in, begging me to help him get a high score on his computer game.
Anyway. I'm writing for the sake of filling up this blog, while searching for a new template. Seriously, didn't anyone think of giving me a good whack when I put up this utterly puerile template? Or were you all too polite to do so??
With that very bothering question, I sign off today, knowing that this post contains no significance at all. Oh well. You can't be expected to cook up something significant all the time.
"Give it a read! - eBooks, audiobooks or good old paperbacks?" @ 9:09:00 pm writes:
Give it a read! - eBooks, audiobooks or good old paperbacks?
Reading is, I proclaim at the risk of sounding highly cliched, a healthy way to kill time. Books have that uncanny ability to, well, practically grab us into their own worlds, where things actually happen in more exciting ways than they do in real life. In books, events happen which are touted by the characters as their destinies to witness, their fates to experience.
But in real life, not all events that happen in our life has a purpose. For example, the author of a mystery novel would never mention a seemingly casual drive around the city unless she or he meant for the character to face with an accident, or maybe pick out a clue along the drive, or something. But real life people do just go out on drives just for the fun of it, without anything eventful actually happening to them.
Well, you may say that the author does not include matter irrelevent to her plot, but readers most often don't think of that. They are too caught up in the characters' fascinating adventures, or miserably wondering why their lives weren't so eventful, to delve deep inside the author's mind.
Like a couple of hours back, when I started on this mystery novel borrowed from my friend , I completely devoured the whole book (between which my extremely annoying brother tried to read aloud the ending to the novel, but not before I snatched the book away and locked myself up in another room to peacefully continue reading, waiting patiently for the bad guy to reveal himself) in a couple of hours, in a whole sitting. I was so absorbed, so...well...intrigued by the storyline that I was, in typical American book-review lingo, 'hooked' to the book.
I recently downloaded 'Emma' by Jane Austen in the form of a legal, free e-book, from www.gutenburg.org. It showed up in Adobe Acrobat Reader, the printed words all laid out in front of me, on the LCD screen of my laptop, ready to be comprehended and read. But you know what? I don't think I survived through the first page of it.
Why, you may ask.
Because it just isn't fun. It just doesn't provide that right atmosphere, that familiar, comforting smell of new(or old) paper, or folding the corners of the pages as bookmarks( yes, I still do that, due to the sad fact that out of the dozens of bookmarks I tried to make, most of them either get misplaced or lost), or getting the actual feeling of holding the rectangular thing in your hands and flipping to the next page using your fingers to touch the paper, not to click the mouse.
Audiobooks prove to be another annoying example. I don't know about people, but I personally find it excruciatingly long and boring to actually listen to some random guy reading out the words of a book into your ears. How annoying is that! You can't even turn back the pages for rereading(okay, there's the rewind button, but I think flipping is better than rewinding). Plus, like in the case of ebooks, you can't get that feel of reading a real book.
I'm not saying ebooks or audiobooks are bad, or anything, because they do tend to save an awful lot of money when going for classics or non-fiction (newly released fiction books cannot be legally downloaded as they have copyright protection). I merely fear that they are actually replacing the actual paperbacks and hardbacks found in your corner bookstore. I know there are hundreds out there who are hard-core 'real book' fans, who detest ebooks and audiobooks, or those who haven't even heard of the before-mentioned terms. To them , I salute wholeheartedly.
And to those who still think the age-old notion 'reading is boring', then please give the Xth std CBSE History textbook a read.
Finally. Let me get back, my stomach is screaming for dinner...after which I intend to curl up comfortably with yet another book in my hand, hoping to finish it tonight itself.
OK right, I'm back (two posts in a day-whoa!) with a new list, which is slightly different from the rest. It has all sorts of crazy and unanswered questions...some may be familiar to you, some may not. So go ahead, read them and enjoy....
Life's Mysteries (courtsey of www.crazythoughts.com) (Handpicked by me)
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"?
If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?
Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?
How is chess considered a sport?
If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?
Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?
How come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can, yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.
If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up?
If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?
Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"??
Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?
What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?
Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?
If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?
Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?
Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?
Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?
If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?
If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?
What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea?
Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped??
Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni?
Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?
How come the Bible is the most stolen book, and one of the ten comandments is "thou shall not steal"?
If there's a hole straight through the earth, from the south pole to the north pole, and you jump through it what would happen? Would you keep falling forever, or fall back down when you get to the middle, or is it physically impossible?
If someone with a nostril ring takes it out, then blows their nose, do they have to cover that hole as well as their nostril holes so that snot does'nt blow out everywere?
How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk?
Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date?
Why do they put holes in crackers?
Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse?
Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?
Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?
How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's stomach to our age?
Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of?
Who was in the kitchen with Dina?
Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?
How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
What should one call a male ladybird?
What would you use to dilute water?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
Why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune?
If you get cheated by the Consumer Protection Council, who do you complain to?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Mommy's boy?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese(or Indians) throw hamburgers?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?"
Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
Can blind people see their dreams?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why is the blackboard green?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Why is it when you are almost dead you're on death's doorstep, but when you're actually dead you're not in death's house?
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?
Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?
Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?
Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?
Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward?
Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?
Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?
If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?
If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?
Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coca Cola factory, will they fire you?
If someone crashes his or her car on purpose, why is it still a car accident?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
Well....whew, that was like, the longest list ever, and I had to personally copy and paste each and everything in the list!!!! My fingers hurt....so....I depart, hoping you all enjoyed(if you could bear to go through the whole list) reading them....
While you puzzle your brains over these questions, I take a break from typing...